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Monday, December 31, 2018

Notes for a sketch - thinking on Mermaids

Small cafe, two middleaged women, A and B, sitting down at a table talking in Northern English accents.
A - So whats been happening whilst I've been down South with our Deidre ?
B -  Well Mr Jevons, him with the undertakers business in Thackeray Avenue, he died last week.
A - Should be a nice funeral then, unlike the job they did on our Gladys last year. Having the hearse pulled over for speeding was not what the family were looking for.
B - And Janet Amos is 'disappointed' with her young man.
A - How she ever imagined Bruce Smithson would have ever amounted to anything I really don't know.
B - And then there's Amy Braithwaite.
A - No better than she should be, in my opinion. And the way her eldest looks just like Adam Carter, a disgrace is what I call it. What about her ?
B - She's going around saying that she loves her children.
A - Well,somone has to I suppose. The spotty one,the eldest is what, 7 now ? And the twins are coming up to be 4.
B - Yes, but that's the problem. It isn't just saying that she loves them, it's that she's saying that they also love her.
A - Well I never, always thought there was something a bit wrong about the Braithwaites, but that takes the biscuit. There isn't something, you know....anything pervy with it ?
B - She says not.
A - But how does she expect anyone to believe it ? They're only small kids. They don't know anything at all about how love is. Of course they might have picked something up from Adam Carter's sneaking around but no, the whole thing is nonsensical. No child that age can have the remotest idea about what love is about. They don't know about romance , what men get up to with women given half a chance and I've never seen the Braithwaites anywhere near chapel when divine love is properly taught. I suppose it's that she can't seem to keep a man but it's a disgrace to manipulate children like that. I'll be having words with Tom Price what runs the town social services, they'll have to step in. What can a 3 year old possibly know about it, they're making associations they'll have to live with all their lives ? You'll be telling me they know their own gender next...

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