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Saturday, December 27, 2014

Years end

Lots in process but the year has definitely not been good for self expression.
Things I want to post about soon are...
a cautionary tale about how transphobia was exploited against me in a really bad way
travels in terfland
how concentrating on gender expression elides gendered communication and why that's a BAD THING on the whole...

Otherwise it has not been that kind a year. My aunt and father both died leaving me the eldest in our small family offshoot. My best writing this year was probably reserved for eulogies.
The shop has actually been fairly eventful. The monthly queer/trans* event for creatives here, a mix of food, readings and a/v stuff has gone really well. Next year we go to every tuesday being either a hangout or a queer/trans* event. Have had a private view of the documentary which is odd. The problem is that it mainly relates to the shop community of 7 or 8 years back which is about as relevant to me as the later stages of the Austro-hungarian empire but visually it's great. See how it makes out at festivals. Also in the next weeks we transmogrify into a not-for-profit community benefit institution which means a few things get easier, eg less tax on beer, but we broadly carry on as usual since we've always actually been such in practice. And we're looking for another place that would fit in larger performance style things - at the moment we can get about 35 in but that's often too small, though we'll be putting a video stream through to another room as an overflow. Really a place with a 60 - 70 capacity would be great.
And also having more people helping out. The one who helped out most in the last few months is a 19year old swedish girl. Wonderful to be with a woman who I don't automatically view first as an older sister, like the twenty-somethings around.
Good and bad political stuff. Found it shockingly outrageous that so many europeans back off from the whole Ferguson stuff, as if to avoid the whole notion of systemic racism. On the other hand I've rediscovered a fair amount of community pride. The way people came together to demonstrate against the police and in favour of the refugees here and the actions after to help have been reassuring. Very glad to be severing ties with the UK too, in that way. The acceptance of vileness like widespread food bank usage, the rise of a fascist mainstream political grouping, the nonsense of austerity approaches, city primacy and asset inflation being left unchallenged, all convincing reasons to stay away from the place.
Identity/community stuff have a lot to work through. Started the year with playing at presentation a little towards the butch side but now more involved in understanding myself in a femme context. Working on some slightly more pointed performance pieces re trans identity too. (Have an interesting thing going on of sometimes doing the same thing twice in a month, once for the 'straight' storytelling evening and again for the queer one).
Loads of things I haven't been able to do because of family illnesses etc and having to go back and forth between the UK and here. Too many friends leaving, and not enough time to develop the newer ones.
One of the better things has been starting to listen to more new (to me) music. So despite some good things I'll express myself to 2014 at the turning of the year in a fresh way like this