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Saturday, April 28, 2012

voice and a first trans interview

I haven't exactly followed classical models in structuring the elements of my transition, and voice is no exception. Given the choice of going into some perfectly organised transition which I wouldn't necessarily live to get far into, or launching into it with little research a couple of months after deciding it was silly to think of any alternative, I went for the latter.
Haven't had voice lessons or practiced much, and it shows. In terms of passing it's fairly poor. I do have a problem in having perpetually blocked sinusses and hence female voice resonance is a problem. What I have concentrated on, reasonably successfully, is narrative emphasis as opposed to pitch. Women tell stories rather than compete for primacy of opinion; the reason for our use of rhythmic emphasis rather than volume seems to me to spring from that. I think I now tell stories better and if strangers initially find my voice overly low...well, I know women who are lower. And at least I've avoided coming over as totally empty-headed, the phase several trans women seem to go through by getting pitch and some basic rhythm right but not actually doing anything with it.
Also it seems to improve. Did one interview about a couple of years ago and hated it with a vengeance. This latest one I could actually bear to listen to without utterly cringing. Is it better for having evolved rather than sprung from artifice ? Goddess knows...
Usually interviews don't concentrate on or even mention me being trans. This one, just a podcast, went into it in some depth. Listening to it, or at least the edited version, and I could kick myself for things said badly or points going awry. Given that I might be doing rather more on the trans theme, any feedback from people able to listen through it would be very welcome.
With thanks to Ian...


  1. Since I have cut right back on cheese my sinus problem is almost gone.

    I love cheese...

  2. Feeling real exactly sums it up.

    Having spent a whole lifetime not feeling real does not prepare you for the joy when it finally happens.

  3. Cheese affects mine too. Just back from (offline) UK and wensleydale overdosing.
    Was thinking about the 'feeling real' thing on hearing the interview. Can't imagine how fulfilling it must be for you, given that for myself it was all an enormous surprise. For me, I suppose there are three main things.The negative one that the contrast is with an ever more remote past life. The positive one of so much being actualised through neuro/hormonal changes to being more true to oneself. And then something I can't help but feel is specific to m2f binary transition : the letting go of seeing the world as primarily a set of systems to encounter a far more living and vibrant reality.